Do you have a new book for me?

Yes, it’s called the Ickabog.

Didn’t we already discuss The Ickabog?

We did, but only chapter 1.
This is chapter 2.

Oh, right. The very confusing segway from chapter 1 to chapter 2.

Right, so we pick up right where we left off in chapter 1 legending about the ickabog.

Legending? That’s not a word.

I don’t know.

So you used your power of imagination to imagine that legending is not a word just like the people of Cornucopia imagined how the ickabog looked and what powers it had?

Did you just try to tell me more about chapter 2 and insult my imagination at the same time?

 I did, did you like that?

I did not.

You're welcome.

Great meeting!
I like chapter 2.

Oh no, I only covered the first 3 paragraphs of chapter 2.

 I feel like so far, you told me nothing about chapter 2.

Chapter 2 is the setup for future chapters that revolves around a 5 year old boy named Bert Beamish who gets scared into having nightmares about the Ickabog by a fully grown-man whose last name is Dovetail.

Why does the name have doves in it? Is the fully grown-man into birds or am i reading into it too much?

Remember I like to give my characters made up names so by this point, it should not surprise you..

Right, I forgot about that. So what’s up with the child inappropriate behavior from adults in this book?

Mr. Publisher, I thought you published so many children’s books that love having adults that terrify little children such as The Witches by Roald Dahl, Holes by Lous Sachar so it shouldn’t surprise you by now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know. Adults are evil.

No no, the Dovetail man is not evil. He’s a carpenter with access to sharp tools.

You’re not making it better.

No no really, he carves out a monster toy that smiles, has big teeth and clawed feet and gives it to the kid he scared into nightmares.

(Publisher stares at the Author).

Aaaand the monster toy becomes Bert’s favorite toy.

Phew, I thought you were going somewhere else with this.

Yeah and I'm going to do this evil laugh and tell the reader that the kingdom of Cornucopia is about to be in big trouble by this Ickabog monster teasing upcoming horrifying events.

Yeah…. no, let’s get rid of the evil laugh and take it down a notch. Like way down. Turn it into more of a friendly tease with a rhetorical question hinting that people are about to be in trouble.

Buuuutt...

No!

Okay. I’ll rewrite it. One more thing, do you think we can squeeze in a parenting guide that will be loosely based on Chapter 2?

Yeah sure, but why?

Because of my, as you say: Perfectly Ambiguous and totally Not confusing word for Money.

You mean Lolly?

Lolly!